Papa can you hear me?

Dominik's mother, my future mother in law, was watching a movie, when I went over to his house, yesterday. It was a Barbara Straisund movie from the, I don't know... 60's. The movie title was Yentl.
I didn't watch the movie, because I was in Dominik's room.
But I caught a little bit of one piece that haunted me all night and I had to look it up.

PRAYER
Oh God-our heavenly Father.
Oh, God-and my father
Who is also in heaven.
May the light of this
Flickering candle
Illuminate the night the way
Your spirit illuminates my soul.

Papa, can you hear me?
Papa, can you see me?
Papa can you find me in the night?
Papa are you near me?
Papa, can you hear me?
Papa, can you help me not be frightened?

Looking at the skies I seem to see
A million eyes which ones are yours?
Where are you now that yesterday
Has waved goodbye
And closed its doors?
The night is so much darker;
The wind is so much colder;
The world I see is so much bigger
Now that I'm alone.

Papa, please forgive me.
Try to understand me;
Papa, don't you know I had no choice?

Can you hear me praying,
Anything I'm saying
Even though the night is filled with voices?
I remember everything you taught me
Every book 1've ever read...
Can all the words in all the books
Help me to face what lies ahead?
The trees are so much taller
And I feel so much smaller;
The moon is twice as lonely
And the stars are half as bright...

Papa, how I love you...
Papa, how I need you.
Papa, how I miss you
Kissing me good night...



It made me think a lot. And it brought me to the point I've been many times before. I was wondering if he can see me. If he's proud of who I've become. Would I be any different if he was still here.

I am mad at myself for not dreaming about him anymore. The memories of him become less and less clear.