Who remembers when they were younger and really believed in love. I know this may
somewhat start fires, but I want to address it. I remember very clearly when I was
younger and would watch romantic movies. I would get butterflies when the two shy
lovers met and kissed. After trials and failure they would find each other and they
would "live happily ever after." I actually thought that that would happen in life. I
put all my hopes into someone I thought could have made my life a romance movie.
Instead I felt like a banana tree that was raided of its produce every day. I got
little appreciation from the monkey and I felt powerless to stop him because I wanted
to help. Now this monkey was never loved by his mother, so I thought if I gave the
monkey enough bananas and whatever else he wanted he would be happy and actually stay with the tree. Now I am a bare tree that fed a monkey that was never happy.
I'm gonna leave the monkey metaphor for now.
I loved a boy, he loved me. He fell out of love with me, I still loved him. He used
me for his own purposes to get what he wanted and left me destitute. I believed in
love and its ability to conquer all things. He was a smoker, I stopped him; a
drinker, he scared himself; pessimistic, I made him believe in himself more. The
thanks I get for that is a reluctant kiss after months of knowing him. He has given
girls kisses and sex. He has even had sex with a girl he knew for less than a week!
That really pissed me off! It made me feel like I was working hard to get what any
girl could get free!My love was not enough to make him love me the same way. With
him, I know love does not exist. It's so surprising how I found myself fighting to
"win". It was more a battle for power than a relationship. I became cold, as if my
heart were frozen and all that was in my mind was winning. I lost myself because of
him.
I surrender!
He is not worth my time or my love. I don't want to lose myself because someone else
could not love me. I completely refuse to!
To everyone out there fighting to keep love and to win, just let it go for losing
yourself is not worth winning some personal love battle. I lay my story to rest and
soon my head. This day, and you are, are thanked for. Thank you for "listening" to
me. It means a lot to speak what's on my mind!
4 comments:
How badly it hurts when someone you love doesn't love you the same way you love him (or her).
You are right to let go of him, because you can't make somebody love you, and all you do is make yourself miserable if you keep trying.
So I think you're acting sensibly.
Sometime, you may meet someone whose love will be like yours. You can't make that person appear in your life. And there is no deadline for it to happen. Some people find it when they're very young. They are certainly lucky. Some find it when they're much older. I'm sure they'll all tell you it was worth waiting for.
While you wait, be sure to let yourself be happy; let yourself have good friends; let yourself enjoy the truly good things that are part of your life. And don't let the bad things wear you down.
Hang in there, and love life.
The bananas will grow back.
it is strange to read that now when I thought you were so happy. i hold myself responsible that i didn't see into your heart. i'm a failure as a sister and a friend. I'm sorry Nic. I should have been there for you and I wasn't.
Dear Sarah, this post is not mine. It's Raheem's. (it says it right under the itle :P) You are there for me whenever I need you. Don't worry about it. I will call you this weekend to keep you updated.
Dear Raheem,
<3 - I don't have anything else to add
Thank you very much naturgesetz! Thanks for reminding me that the tree was not uprooted and the bananas will grow back!
Dear Nic,
<3 (I miss you)
!Gracias por todo!
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