hey guys

Hey readers, sorry I haven't blogged in awhile... I got some feedback that what i put up was depressing, and i didn't mean it to be that way, so im sorry...
But now i think if i blog anything it will just be events, and not creative writings anymore.
My English teacher today, who ive never had anything but respect for, took me aside after a block period where we discussed Solzhenitizen's One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich for 80 minutes. I thought that she was going to compliment me on my job in the class discussion that day, but i was very very wrong. She told me that, on my last paper, and on my thesis for my extended esssay, i dont know what a theme is. She badgered me and humiliated me for 15 or 20 minutes, and i guess all i can say is im glad she didnt do it in front of the class...
anyways, i was and am extremely hurt by what she said to me..
Ive never done anything but put all of my effort into anything i gave her, and ive always enjoyed english more than any other class..
And i know the difference between a creative writing and a literary analysis... but I love doing both..
but for her to say the things she did....in the way she did....
it just makes me want to stop writing forever.
Anyways.... sorry for yet another depressing entry, at least this one isnt accompanied with a stupid poem.

~Jake~

it's hurting me more

...than it's hurting you

"but then I guess you have to come to terms with the fact that you're in love with a boy who is an asshole." and stupid for saying this line

5:13 AM Nov 1st

i'm sorry Domi... I'm really really sorry.

10:16 PM Nov 1st

please watch this Domi and please forgive me ♫ http://blip.fm/~fq4r8

10:22 PM Nov 1st

Listen... it is hard sitting here and waiting for you to forgive me, when all I want to do is screaming out to the world that I'm yours,

that you own me

that I am dieing on the inside without your hugs, smiles and touch

3:25 AM Nov 5th

I made a mistake, I am sorry and you know damn well I'd do anything to take it back. Please, please forgive me

it's in the middle of the night and I am awake sitting here and doing nothing else but think of you

doesn't it mean anything to you anymore that I love you?

http://bit.ly/n82v3 just read this and started crying again. when is it gonna stop hurting?

3:18 PM Nov 13th

You got a way of spreading magic everywhere. Anywhere I go, I know you're always there

6:59 AM Nov 20th

It sounds ridiculous, but when you leave a room there's a part of me that just wants to follow you.

6:59 AM Nov 20th

Give me a reason

7:00 AM Nov 20th

"michael, I deeply, deeply, from the very bottom of my heart love him to the moon and back. I miss him so much"

"but it's hard giving it time, time is working against me. time is eating me up. I talk and talk and talk"

"and I think and think and think about it all the time"

11:33 PM Nov 24th

dear twitter hugbots, I need a hug, please don't you reject me too

11:36 PM Nov 24th

I just got a txt message and for the first time someone referred to Dominik as my ex. It's like slapping me in the face.

9:11 PM Nov 25th

Take a look at me now

you coming back to me
is against all odds
and that's what I've got to face



How can I just let you walk away, just let you leave without a trace
When I stand here taking every breath with you, oh
You're the only one who really knew me at all

How can you just walk away from me, when all I can do is watch you leave
Cause we've shared the laughter and the pain, and even shared the tears
You're the only one who really knew me at all

So take a look at me now, cause there's just an empty space
And there's nothing left here to remind me, just the memory of your face
Take a look at me now, cause there's just an empty space
And you coming back to me is against all odds and that's what I've got to face

I wish I could just make you turn around, turn around and see me cry
There's so much I need to say to you, so many reasons why
You're the only one who really knew me at all

So take a look at me now, cause there's just an empty space
And there's nothing left here to remind me, just the memory of your face
Take a look at me now, cause there's just an empty space
But to wait for you, well that's all I can do and that's what I've got to face
Take a good look at me now, cause I'll still be standing here
And you coming back to me is against all odds
That's the chance I've got to take

Just take a look at me now

Cougar much?

So I was at this perfume store called "Douglas" with my mom, right? There was this nice saleswoman in her early 40s. While mom was looking for cosmetics and an obvious gay effiminate guy with heavily smeared face was giving her samples and make up tips, that nice saleslady was showing me some new stuff from Gaultier and Joop!
She was very nice and she looked at me and said: "oh I know the perfect fragrance for you" and she took the bottle and first sprayed it on a piece of paper. Then she said "it's so much better when it gets in contact with your skin" and she touched my neck. Then she sprayed some of it on my neck and started rubbing it in. "you need to mix it with the smell of your own skin". Then she sniffed me and said, "yeees that smells good on you"

LOL  That lady was totally hitting on me until mom saw it from the other side and came over and said "my SIXTEEN YEAR OLD son already found his fragrance, thank you."

the look on her face was epic.

btw, I'm gonna be 17 in a week. just saying. :-p

Don't

the following is a poem from a friend of mine. Only someone who went through something like this can remotly understand what this poem is about and how beautiful it is in it's sadness.

Don’t
Dont look at me with pity, i need your strength
Dont crowd me with words, just let me talk
Dont touch me, i will reach out when im ready
Dont call me, i need time to think and work it through

Dont tell me how i should feel, feelings are beyond my control at this time

Dont stop my tears and screams, they are my path to release and healing
Dont cross the road to avoid me, just smile and say hello
Dont say you understand, just thank god that you cant
Dont be hurt by what i say or do, my pain is clouding my judgement
Dont think im going mad, im doing the best i can do to retain my sanity

Dont tell me i will forget, his memory is all i have left

and whatever you do

Dont think i dont appreciate you being here

taken from Duane's tumbler

No more tears left to cry

My tears run down like razorblades - And no, I'm not the one to blame
It's you or is it me?
And all the words we never say - Come out and now we're all ashamed
And there's no sense in playing games
When you've done all you can do

But now it's over, it's over, why is it over?
We had the chance to make it
Now it's over, it's over, it can't be over
I wish that I could take it back
But it's over

I lose myself in all these fights - I lose my sense of wrong and right
I cry, I cry
It's shaking from the pain that's in my head
I just wanna crawl into my bed
And throw away the life I led
But I won't let it die, but I won't let it die

But now it's over, it's over, why is it over?
We had the chance to make it
Now it's over, it's over, it can't be over
I wish that I could take it back

I'm falling apart, I'm falling apart
Don't say this won't last forever
You're breaking my heart, you're breaking my heart
Don't tell me that we will never be together
We could be, over and over
We could be, forever

I'm falling apart, I'm falling apart
Don't say this won't last forever
You're breaking my heart, you're breaking my heart
Don't tell me that we will never be together
We could be, over and over
We could be, forever

It's not over, it's not over, it's never over
Unless you let it take you
It's not over, it's not over, it's not over
Unless you let it break you
It's not over

I'm not asking for much

If you know me, love me and respect me, please give me 5 minutes of your life.