He's Out Of My Hands

He's out of my life
He's out of my life
And I don't know whether to laugh or cry
I don't know whether to live or die
And it cuts like a knife
He's out of my life
It's out of my hands
It's out of my hands
To think for two years he was here
And I took him for granted I was so cavalier
Now the way that it stands
He's out of my hands

So I've learned that love's not possession
And I've learned that love won't wait
Now I've learned that love needs expression
But I learned too late

And he's out of my life
He's out of my life
Damned indecisions and cursed pride
I kept my love for him locked deep inside
And it cuts like a knife
He's out of my life

When I was your age...

When I was a kid adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning uphill both ways through year 'round blizzards carrying their younger siblings on their backs to their one-room schoolhouse where they maintained a Straight-A average despite their full-time after-school job at the local textile mill where they worked for 35 cents an hour just to help keep their family from starving to death! And I remember promising myself that when I grew up there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!

But...

Now that I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to say it but you kids today you don't know how good you've got it!

I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet - we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves! There was no email! We had to actually write somebody a letter - with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!

There were no MP3s or Napsters! You wanted to steal music, you had to go to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself! Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ'd usually talk over the beginning and f@#* it all up!

You want to hear about hardship? You couldn't just download porn! You had to bribe some homeless dude to buy you a copy of "Hustler" at the 7-11!
Those were your options!

We didn't have fancy shit like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal! And we didn't have fancy Caller ID Boxes either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was it could be your boss, your mom, a collections agent, your drug dealer, you didn't know!!! You just had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

We didn't have any fancy Sony PlayStation videogames with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like "Space Invaders" and "Asteroids" and the graphics sucked ass! Your guy was a little square! You had to use your imagination! And there were no multiple levels or screens; it was just one screen forever! And you could never win, the game just kept getting harder and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!

When you went to the movie theater there no such thing as stadium seating! All the seats were the same height! If a tall guy sat in front of you and you couldn't see you were just screwed!

Sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like 20 channels and there was no onscreen menu and no remote control! You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing you had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel and there was no Cartoon Network! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning... d'ya hear what I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK, you spoiled little bastards!

We didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up we had to use the stove...imagine that! If we wanted popcorn we had to use that stupid jiffy pop and shake it over the stove like an idiot forever.

That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled; you guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980!

Hello from the Past

So you might be wondering, hey, Jake, where have you been? Well, I've been at college. This is a final presentation I made for one of my classes. It should be pretty enlightening as far as learning about me these days goes...

Happy Birthday, Nic

Milestones in life

This is hard for me to write but I need to get it out

Hey, how are you? I hope you are fine.
I've been thinking about you the whole day.
There is stuff happening in my life I wish I could share with you.
It's been a while since the last time I talked to you.

I've been listening to this song over and over again. And there is one line that keeps haunting me since the first time I heard it. You know I'm trying my best to be half the man you were. So I want to ask you the same question I heard in that song. Are you proud of who I am?

I miss you, dad.

Last Friday I passed the test to my driver's license. You can imagine how happy I was when he handed me that little piece of paper. I mean, can you imagine that or did you actually see me? I hope you didn't see me because I don't want you to see me when I am like this. I hope you didn't see me hugging my driving teacher instead of you. I hope you didn't see me when I went to the bathroom and cried because you weren't there to share that moment with me.

I miss you, dad.

In three days I will be turning 18. This will be another milestone in my life. They say I'll become a man. I don't feel like I'm a man. I wish I could be a man. I wish I could hold my head up high and be strong like a man. But I am not. I'm broken, dad. I am. I need you in my life to teach me how to be a man.
You know, they are trying... Jürgen tries, Domi's dad tries, some people I look up to try. But they can't replace you. Why couldn't you show me how to shave? Why did mom have to teach me how to knot a tie?

These are milestones a son has to share with his dad. I'm sharing them with you... in spirit. That's all I have. But I need to know:

Are you proud of who I am?

Never make me sing this to you

I heard that you're settled down.
That you found a girl and you're married now.
I heard that your dreams came true.
Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you.

Old friend, why are you so shy?
It ain't like you to hold back or hide from the lie

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited,
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I'd hoped you'd see my face & that you'd be reminded,
That for me, it isn't over.

Nevermind, I'll find someone like you.
I wish nothing but the best for you too.
Don't forget me, I beg, I'll remember you said:
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead"
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead.

You'd know how the time flies.
Only yesterday was the time of our lives.
We were born and raised in a summery haze.
Bound by the surprise of our glory days.

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited,
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I'd hoped you'd see my face & that you'd be reminded,
That for me, it isn't over yet.

Nevermind, I'll find someone like you.
I wish nothing but the best for you too.
Don't forget me, I beg, I'll remember you said:
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead".

Nothing compares, no worries or cares.
Regrets and mistakes they're memories made.
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?

Nevermind, I'll find someone like you.
I wish nothing but the best for you too.
Don't forget me, I beg, I'll remember you said:
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead"

Nevermind, I'll find someone like you.
I wish nothing but the best for you too.
Don't forget me, I beg, I'll remember you said:
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead"
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead.


- I will love you for eternity, Domi -

the most important thing to me these days