I love you more

Dear Nicky,

I will never hurt you again and you will never ever cry because of me.
I want you to know this. I promise.

I've been away for too long and everyday I missed you more.
You look like you did before only prettier. Everyday I love you more.



Clouds above go sailing by
I found my meaning in this life
clear white is flying in my eyes,
underneath a blue, blue sky
The waves come rolling in with the tide.

I've been away too long
and everyday I missed you more.
You look like you did before
only prettier.
Everyday I love you more.

All the people rushing by, by, by
looking for meaning in this life
so used up, and blinded by lies,
They're underneath the blue, blue sky
the way they seldom seem to smile
I don't know why.

'Cause I've been away too long
and everyday I missed you more.
You look like you did before,
only prettier.
Everyday I love you more.
I love you more,
everday I love you more,
and more.

Cause I've been away too long
and everyday I missed you more.
You look like you did before,
only prettier.
And everyday I missed you more,
and more and more and more and more.
I've been away too long
and everyday I missed you more
oh you look like you did before
only prettier
everyday I love you more.

I love you more.
Everyday I love you more.

Imma KILL you

ok, first things first... apparently I snore.

last night (well... this morning) I was in a skype call with Shern, Aaron and Brent.
I was really tired but then I didn't want to say goodnight and just go away. I wanted to talk to them.
I was on the verge of falling asleep but as long as the guys kept me talking I was still up and enjoyed the convo.
But then Shern had to leave for a short time and Aaron had to go talk to his housemate and so only Brent and I were left.

What you have to know is, that Brent and I just met yesterday, so we had not much to talk about... just polite conversation and trying to get to know each other.

What Brent did was, he kind of stoped asking me questions and concentrated on something and was quiet for like 5 minutes.

This was enough for me to fall asleep.

now: THAT CREEEEEEP (:op) didn't hang up on me... OH NOOOO... he stayed connected and listened to me sleep. So I must have started to snore after a bit.

and this is what happened: (my comments are in red)

[05.01.2010 11:54:28] Aaron: can i ditch u both?
[05.01.2010 12:12:19] Brent: LOL! I forgot I was in a conversation
(sometime between 11:54 and 12:12 I must have fallen asleep)
[05.01.2010 12:12:22] Brent: Somebody?
[05.01.2010 12:12:27] Brent: I think Nic is asleap xD
[05.01.2010 12:13:56] Brent: KS, Aaron? :/
[05.01.2010 12:18:50] Brent: I wish someone would come back, I need someone to laugh at Nic's snoring with me. (oh you little devil)
[05.01.2010 12:19:06] Brent: Also, I feel kinda creepy - like that guy Nic was telling me about.
[05.01.2010 12:23:26] Shern: i'm bk now
(at this time Brent is listening to me sleep for 15 minutes)
[05.01.2010 12:23:38] Shern: hey guys
[05.01.2010 12:24:06] Brent: Haha, thank god
[05.01.2010 12:24:06] Brent: Hey
[05.01.2010 12:24:39] Shern: watsup??
[05.01.2010 12:25:04] Brent: Not lots
[05.01.2010 12:25:13] Brent: Just chillazin 8-)
[05.01.2010 12:25:15] Brent: You?
[05.01.2010 12:25:24] Shern: i'm just havin dinner now :)
[05.01.2010 12:25:24] Brent: (Listening to Nic snore, lmfao)
[05.01.2010 12:25:30] Shern: LOL is he sleeping??
[05.01.2010 12:25:34] Brent: Yup
[05.01.2010 12:25:38] Brent: He fell to sleep
[05.01.2010 12:25:38] Shern: lolwtf??
[05.01.2010 12:25:41] Shern: how did that happen??
[05.01.2010 12:25:45] Brent: Every now and then he snores (WHY DIDN'T YOU HANG UP .p)
[05.01.2010 12:25:50] Brent: I was talking to him and he was like
[05.01.2010 12:25:59] Brent: "I'm so close to falling to sleep"
[05.01.2010 12:26:06] Brent: And I'm like "Haha, alright"
[05.01.2010 12:26:13] Brent: So I stopped talking for a minute
[05.01.2010 12:26:17] Brent: And then he started snoring
[05.01.2010 12:26:21] Shern: LMFAO
[05.01.2010 12:26:26] Brent: and I forgot I was in the conversation
[05.01.2010 12:26:27] Shern: maybe it's time to play the penis game
[05.01.2010 12:26:32] Brent: LOL!
[05.01.2010 12:26:33] Shern: how was avatar btw?
[05.01.2010 12:27:20] Brent: Oh, it was pretty good
[05.01.2010 12:27:22] Brent: Have you seen it?
[05.01.2010 12:27:26] Shern: nopeee
[05.01.2010 12:27:36] Brent: it's pretty good in 3d
(I assume I must have had a big snore here because they laughed)
[05.01.2010 12:27:46] Shern: LMFAO
[05.01.2010 12:27:50] Brent: HAHAHA!
[05.01.2010 12:27:51] Shern: lol yes
[05.01.2010 12:28:16] Shern: he said he had sufficient sleep last night..
[05.01.2010 12:28:19] Shern: so i didn't think he'd sleep
[05.01.2010 12:28:42] Brent: He just told me he didn't sleep a lot *shrug*
[05.01.2010 12:28:49] Shern: LOL
[05.01.2010 12:28:55] Shern: 5 hours -_- (how is 5 hours sufficient sleep, Shern?)
[05.01.2010 12:28:59] Shern: that silly boy
[05.01.2010 12:29:04] Brent: Hahaha
[05.01.2010 12:30:24] Shern: lol man he's really going at it
(AND YOU ARE STILL LISTENING TO IT... GRRR)

[05.01.2010 12:30:29] Brent: xD
[...]
[05.01.2010 12:32:32] Shern: XD short snores
[05.01.2010 12:32:49] Brent: He was telling me about another time he fell asleep on skype
[05.01.2010 12:33:05] Brent: and he said he was lucky that he doesnt snore
[05.01.2010 12:33:12] Shern: LMFAO
[05.01.2010 12:33:13] Brent: I so want to record this
(is it just me or did it get CREEPIER?)
[05.01.2010 12:33:27] Shern: how do u do a output into input??
[05.01.2010 12:34:46] Brent: Hmm, I'll try
[05.01.2010 12:36:37] Brent: Haha, I worked it out xD
[05.01.2010 12:36:40] Shern: XD
[05.01.2010 12:36:40] Shern: lol
[05.01.2010 12:36:49] Shern: *records*
[05.01.2010 12:37:03] Shern: doesn't snore my asssss (I HATE YOUUUUU :p)
[05.01.2010 12:37:04] Shern: lol
[05.01.2010 12:37:26] Brent: Lmfao
[05.01.2010 12:37:30] Brent: I feel creepy though xD (hmmm, you shook off that thought pretty quick)
[05.01.2010 12:37:36] Brent: Recording his snoring
[05.01.2010 12:41:49] Brent: Ok, 2:50 of snoring
[05.01.2010 12:41:53] Brent: Creepy enough yet? (nah, we're BEYOND creepy at this point)
[05.01.2010 12:42:36] Shern: LOL \
[05.01.2010 12:42:37] Shern: yess
[05.01.2010 12:44:27] Shern: lol i managed to record 30 secs of it XD (oh ok, one isn't enough. now BOTH of you record it)
[05.01.2010 12:44:37] Brent: Bahahaha
[05.01.2010 12:44:47] Shern: he's gonna be so creeped out *grins* (Oh really? LOL)
[05.01.2010 12:44:53] Brent: 8-)
[05.01.2010 12:45:30] Brent: I recorded it xD
(OH GREAT-now a third person joins the FATAL DUO)
[05.01.2010 12:46:03] Aaron: He fell to sleep?
[05.01.2010 12:46:05] Aaron: BLASPHEMY!!
[05.01.2010 12:46:09] Brent: Hahahaha
[05.01.2010 12:46:15] Aaron: It's fell *asleep*
Shern sends file NICSNORING.WAV
[05.01.2010 12:48:16] Brent: Here, I looped it
[05.01.2010 12:48:20] Shern: kk
[05.01.2010 12:48:25] Shern: how do u virtually loop it?
[05.01.2010 12:48:35] Shern: can't really hear it :/
[05.01.2010 12:49:10] Brent: I dont know - did that work? :S
[05.01.2010 12:49:12] Shern: lol nope
[05.01.2010 12:49:13] Aaron: nope
[05.01.2010 12:49:16] Shern: maybe mine will
[05.01.2010 12:49:38] Shern: i'm loopin it :/
[05.01.2010 12:49:40] Aaron: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
[05.01.2010 12:49:46] Aaron: LMAO!!!!
[05.01.2010 12:49:54] Shern: (angel)
[05.01.2010 12:49:59] Aaron: u can totally hear his saliva too ( OH ... MY ... GOD )
[05.01.2010 12:50:00] Aaron: OOHH!!
[05.01.2010 12:50:04] Aaron: that was a good one (at this point we are FORTY FUCKING FIVE MINUTES into the show)
[05.01.2010 12:50:25] Brent: Hahahahahaa
[05.01.2010 12:50:50] Aaron: LOL!!
[05.01.2010 12:50:59] Brent: Can you hear that now? (STOP IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT)
[...]
[05.01.2010 12:51:05] Aaron: very sexy, Nic
[05.01.2010 12:51:21] Shern: haha it's soooooo cuteee (That cute comment won't help you)
[05.01.2010 12:51:57] Brent: Hahahaha indeed (You neither - you're gonna die first)
[05.01.2010 12:54:07] Aaron: can u still hear it?
[05.01.2010 12:54:49] Aaron: *roll eyes*
[...]
[05.01.2010 14:12:08] Shern: LOL (YES, boys and girls.. they're still connected to me)
[05.01.2010 14:12:10] Shern: crashed
[05.01.2010 14:12:20] Aaron: what crashed?
[05.01.2010 14:12:25] Jacob: the mic (and they got a FOURTH person in)
[05.01.2010 14:12:26] Jacob: lol
[05.01.2010 14:12:33] Aaron: lol
[05.01.2010 14:12:35] Shern: i'm pretty sure nic crashed (oh? was I hosting? at this point I love my fucked up computer... at least he showed mercy and crashed)
[05.01.2010 14:12:36] Aaron: KS wanna host?
[05.01.2010 14:12:38] Shern: yeah sure
[05.01.2010 14:12:41] Shern: i'm an epikass host (no sir, you are one epikass CREEP) :p

Good Times

Last Thanksgiving I had not much to thank for. Dominik had just broke up with me and all in all I was not in a good place emotionally.

Two months later everything has changed.
Thanks to Steve (planetx_123) who I grew to like as kind of a big brother I've been introduced to torchy! - yes, no first name, just a nickname with an exclamation mark... like CHER  :op

Torchy was very nice and when I told him that I've found out about this supportive gay bloggers community and that I'd like to make more gay friends since I almost had none, he was very kind and introduced me to a lot of bloggers. I've met the nicest people since then...
There are Australians, Americans, Canadians, Brits, Mexicans, Swiss, Germans and one totally sweet guy from Malaysia. All in all I have met about 15 to 20 new people and they are all nice and we all started to talk on skype and we're all having a lot of fun and are very supportive to each other.

If you just take a look at my twitterstats, you'll understand how big this whole thing is for me.

You can see that a lot has happened in the last two months. One thing I am tremendously happy about is the fact that Dominik and I are back together. He said he never stopped loving me and that no matter what reasons he had to break up in the first place, they don't exist anymore..

So I think what I'm trying to say is, that if Thanksgiving was today, I would probably give a 15 minute speech to try to name all the things I am thankful for.

I love you all - have a great new year everyone.

cruel intentions