Hey, how are you? I hope you are fine.
I've been thinking about you the whole day.
There is stuff happening in my life I wish I could share with you.
It's been a while since the last time I talked to you.
I've been listening to this song over and over again. And there is one line that keeps haunting me since the first time I heard it. You know I'm trying my best to be half the man you were. So I want to ask you the same question I heard in that song. Are you proud of who I am?
I miss you, dad.
Last Friday I passed the test to my driver's license. You can imagine how happy I was when he handed me that little piece of paper. I mean, can you imagine that or did you actually see me? I hope you didn't see me because I don't want you to see me when I am like this. I hope you didn't see me hugging my driving teacher instead of you. I hope you didn't see me when I went to the bathroom and cried because you weren't there to share that moment with me.
I miss you, dad.
In three days I will be turning 18. This will be another milestone in my life. They say I'll become a man. I don't feel like I'm a man. I wish I could be a man. I wish I could hold my head up high and be strong like a man. But I am not. I'm broken, dad. I am. I need you in my life to teach me how to be a man. You know, they are trying... Jürgen tries, Domi's dad tries, some people I look up to try. But they can't replace you. Why couldn't you show me how to shave? Why did mom have to teach me how to knot a tie?
These are milestones a son has to share with his dad. I'm sharing them with you... in spirit. That's all I have. But I need to know:
Are you proud of who I am?