I read something on Sean's blog that made me think. He wrote:
It's getting more difficult to keep writing. I want to keep going; the only problem is that there's becoming less and less to write about. There seems to be little I've already said, [...] I do enjoy it; a lot. However to me, it feels like I've been overly redundant in the last few posts and that it will continue if I try and force myself to write; and I don't like redundancy and it bothers me, the idea of having to force myself to write is irritating. I'd rather not; so I won't.I thought about that for a while then commented this:
I know that feeling. I think I've talked too much about Dominik and love and death in general.Tell me what you think about it.
But a blog is something personal. So you're not writing for an audience, you're writing for yourself. If people stick around and comment once in a while then that's awesome but for me it's not why I blog. It's because I want to write things down. Once it'S written down it helps me cope with it much better.
Last time I blogged Dominik was in Berlin with his (very expensive) piano teacher preparing for a concert. I was missing him a lot and had not seen him for over a week.
My sadness was so obvious to my folks and his parents that they all chipped in and bought me a train ticket to Berlin so I could go to him on his last day there and travel back with him.
In hindsight it was kinda dumb to travel by train cause a flight would have been A LOT cheaper. But hey, who am I to complain, it wasn't my money :P My folks just don't know how to use the "modern day technology" of booking a cheap flight over the internet.
So I left on Tuesday two weeks ago for Berlin in the fastest train Germany has called ICE. It travels with the speed of 250km/h, But because it had to stop about 5 or 6 times in different cities the trip took about 4 hours and 20 minutes.
On the way there I was in a cabin with a lot of seats. So I was a bit 'worried' about privacy for the way back with Dominik. The inside looked something like this.
When I arrived in Berlin I took a taxi to the address Domi's mom gave me. Of course he didn't know I was coming and I wanted to surprise him. I arrived at the door and the doors were closed and there was no one who could let me in. After a while I found a different entrance to the building and the nice lady guided me to the hall where Dominik and his teacher were practising. It was so awesome hearing him play while still being outside.
Knowing my boyfriend I decided to wait outside until he finishes the piece he was playing, because Dominik is one of those musicians who forget everything around them while they are playing. He also has the habit of finishing whatever he is playing before doing anything else. Like... he wouldn't even reply to a question or get up when his mom calls for him or.. and I'm not exaggerating... when the house is burning (not that it happened but I can imagine him still finishing before he'll get up to run away) lol.
So this is what surprised me and it's moments like this that make me think "wow he really loves me".
Here's what happened: You can imagine that classical piano pieces are quite... ummm... longish. So I couldn't wait any longer and decided to go in.
He completely ignored that someone came in... he didn't look up. His teacher only looked up from the music sheets he was reading along Domi's play and smiled and I made a gesture that I don't want to interrupt and will sit down.
CLUMSY ME knocked off a sheet holder while trying to sit down and that's when Domi looked up. And here THE MAGIC happened :o) He stopped playing instantly and said NIIIIIC and ran to me and gave me a tiiiiight hug.
After he introduced me to his teacher with the words "Das ist mein Freund Nic von dem ich dir erzählt hab" (this is my friend Nic I told you about). He couldn't really concentrate on playing and his teacher told him to call it a day. He said, he can't make him any better... you had to see Domi's smile... it lit up the whole room :)
ummm... sorry, I gotta do this:
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOOOOOOOOVE YOUUUUU
ok, done...
So yeah... we went to his hotel room and... err... "packed his stuff"... LOL, that's a good one... yeah we "packed his stuff" and went to the train station.
On our way home we had a different ICE and the seating was in cabins like that:
For most of the trip back we were sitting alone. But later a businessman came in and sat down and he had this really really awful aftershave and a lot of it too.
You can imagine there are no windows in a train that drives 4 times as fast as regular trains with windows. So I came up with a plan to get rid of him. It was a win-win situation... win-win for me (ref to Glee). Domi and I started making out and apparently it was a bit too much for the guy when I started getting my hands under Domi's shirt... He got up and left the cabin... Sometimes I like homophobia. Assuming he was homophobic. He might as well be a nice guy who wanted to give us privacy... We'll never know...
Anyways, we arrived at home really late ... it was about 2 am I think... And I fell asleep with a feeling of pure happiness... of course I wore his t-shirt that night again :o)
END OF PART 1, this is already too long. In the next part I'm gonna talk about my bronchitis that stopped me from visiting his concert on the following Saturday and about what he did to still make it possible for me to be at the concert... oh god, there is so much to write about... and I haven't even started about the third thing... the sexual tension part...
I shouldn't have waited so long to make a blogpost.
